So
last year I would have been nearly immobilized to hear I had to raise over five
grand to serve the Lord. Thinking, I
can't ask people to support me financially so I can
be extremely blessed to do His work, that is too good to be true
situation. However, I have learned that it is also a blessing for others
to partner with me. If my friend asked me if they can buy me a drink and I say
no (which I have done before), I am denying them the reward of blessing someone
else. That is what Ministry Partnership is, in a much grander scale.
Instead of a refreshment, I am allowing people to refresh my, and in many
cases their own, soul(s) by putting hands and feet to God's and His people’s
prayers. This is an honorable and trustworthy system predating Paul's
first letter. Now, I've come to believe this truth is theologically sound
and I've grown in my understanding to trust that it is
biblical. Unfortunately, as I apply this truth to my life, lies creep in.
As I continue to raise money I am disheartened by the apathy my
friends seem to have for my trip. Not all of them, but as the saying goes:
it takes ten good deeds to block out one bad one. So whether it is
a perceived majority or actual majority, this nonchalant
response my brothers and sisters in Christ have for something God has deeply
woven in my heart frustrates me. Some of it is in a godly discontent,
but some of it is prideful and selfish way. The worst part of
it is I am having trouble distinguishing the two.
I
started this post, but didn't want to seem bitter and post it in
my frustration, so I sat on it. Since then I actively
started wrestling with this dilemma, which has given much light
to the situation. Yes, it is still hard when I have poured into people's
lives with the joy of Christ intentionally for two, three, sometimes
even more years, and when this opportunity to help me go on a mission trip
arises, it is as if I am a stranger. Funny thing about
"strangers" in relations to Christianity is that we are called
to love strangers for they are our sibling in Christ. I have been
blessed to see this lived out; hundreds of the dollars I've raised have come
from generous hearts of people I have never met before they donated, and in
many cases will never see this side of heaven again. This is yet another
reason I am glad I did not rush to update my blog. This love I was shown,
that was given not because who I am but because who I serve, was humbling.
The support I am getting is not an evaluation of my worth, but
a revelation of others’ love for Him.
That
simple sentence may just seem like the last sentence to the second paragraph on
a blog of a guy you may or may not know, but to me it was comfort, love and
God's hand on my shoulder. I was getting a little bitter towards people
that I have cared for, given up sleep time for, bought dinner for, cooked for,
invited into my home and shown hospitality towards, all because they
didn't care to support me as I was doing something God was calling me to.
The love of those whom I have never even given a drink of water
to convicted me in the best way, forcing me to ask, "Did I care for them
to get something in return, or because of God's love in my life (see Luke
6:34). It was from exploring that question that I realized I was wrapping
my worth into my support raising. I was letting others define me, people
would turn a blind eye to my needs for this mission. In return I would
wonder if I even had an impact on their life, if I have ever shown God with my
actions. In some ways I was thinking I was being turned a blind eye
because I was not worthy to be looked at. That was such a selfish
viewpoint, thinking I was the center of the universe, not caring for them
past this petty hurt. Some people I found out didn't turn a blind eye,
but waited for bank things to be settled, (granted prayer
or encouraging words in the meantime would have been beautiful).
Others have been hurt in a way they feel that Ireland isn't where they can
support from a loving heart, which is sad, but understandable. In situation
of brokenness, that is everywhere, I should pray and care for them, not
just want them to get over it and give me money. Still others love money
more than me or supporting missions, which is not right but it is not a sin against me.
They have not had their eyes open to the wonders of partnering with God,
trusting Him more than wealth. Their are plenty of other reasons, but one
more I want to mention is some people give beyond their means
already, they have a heart for certain things out of
God's inspiration and although they may be joyed to hear of my
trip, they have not been called to support me. Which is right and good
because I know sometimes you have to say no even to good things, or you will be
burnt out doing Christian things, rather than living a Christian life. I
am so glad God has been teaching me these lessons because I plan to go into
ministry and the challenge and difficulties of raising $5,000
was discouraging me from going into ministries, thinking I did not have
a large enough support base. In an earthly mindset this makes sense; if I
can't even get enough for two months mission trip, how can I make
a sustainable living? With God that is not a sound concern, He
sent his disciples out with no money and they came back with great
stories because God provides what we need (see Luke 10).
To
wrap up here is a finical update: I am right around $2,000 short for
my mission and the support is due in 9 days. If you feel like you can
give glory to God with a contribution, no matter how small, it would be
much appreciated (http://www.whm.org/give/missionary?ID=22066 ).
I truly trust that this is not a large number for God, even though it
feels like an enormous gap in such a small time for me; if God wants me in
Ireland, like I believe He does, I will get the funding. However, I also
believe that God partners with broken people like you and me to do great things
we couldn't do on our own. Therefore, I must be diligent in
my pursuit of funding and forming partners to pray with and talk to. Feel
free to email me at Mr.Palcsak@gmail.com with any questions, comments, concerns,
or encouragements. This email is primarily dedicated for communication
for partners in the faith and missions, so please do not hesitant to
send me an email.
