Marriage was Not Designed for This

I'm sorry to those who find it hard to see marriage things flood social media, as my posts and pictures have been basically nothing but that. I am not big on social media, but I like to publicly announce to the world, I am taken, and so is my wife to be Emily Lyles. It is not for this desire that I apologize, I think it could be a true time of joint celebration. This opportunity is especially true for those who are brothers and sisters in faith, for we are called to be one as Jesus and the father are one. Therefore, my joys are to be your joys, but the reverse is also true, your struggles should be a personal concern of mine. However, we (Emily and I) are only a fraction of the reason to celebrate our marriage. Marriage, as a covenant bond, is a representation of the covenant bond God offers us through Jesus Christ. To be clear I, in no way, think married or engaged people have a better or closer relationship to Christ. I also realize that this whole post could sound hypocritical, but in light of the very apparent and burdensome weight that this culture puts on marriage, the weight I have just started to become increasingly aware of as "The Big Day" comes closer, I feel I must speak anyways.

I am a pretty "go by the beat of my on drum" kinda guy, as I have been told often. So until recently my beat wasn't ever beating wedding tunes, or more relevantly, I was not listening to what the cultures drum beat pounded loudly about marriage and relationships. That pounding from an accumulation of messengers is the reason I am sorry. Marriage is a huge end game for a lot of people and for many others it is game over. Neither of which is true. I declare this confidently as truth. This declaration is not due to my own wisdom, but that of the great cloud of witnesses, the predecessors who demonstrated the light of truth from generation to generation, and from the scriptures and God's spirit.

The first wrong view can result in statements like "Once you know God is enough, He will provide a spouse," and "True love waits." As if married people, or those on track to be married, live from a knowledge that God is enough in a more profound way than their single brothers or sisters. As for the well meaning "True love waits," to wait for true love, is to wait to breathe. Jesus is the only unblemished true love, a husband or wife is merely to be a shadow of true Love to an individual. Similarly to a shadow of a tree, a shadow has some of its own, but not independent, benefits. You can relax in shade on a hot summer day, as you can rest in the arms of your spouse after a long hard day. On the reverse, shadows cannot be climbed or bring nourishment, and it makes it more challenging for a flower trying to complete photosynthesis. Spouse's likewise creates difficulties, they cannot be your ultimate source of joy, worth, or purpose, no matter how godly your spouse is, he or she can not satisfy your deepest intrinsic needs. As for those who at some level are waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to fill that void, this is a dangerous lie that will only succeed in putting a weight on the shadow that can only be held by the tree. Even if you intellectually accept and morally agree with the previous, it is still a struggle to live out, as you start the process of becoming one, or try not to covenant the ones who are on that journey. In addition to that real stumbling block, there is a plethora of other struggles of getting married, if there wasn't, divorce would be a rare phenomenon.

Which leads to the other extreme, marriage is game over, which is also untrue but considering this has been primarily about marriage most people in that boat glanced at this post, felt sorry for me, and moved on. So I'll keep this section short. The first proof that marriage is not game over in life is the aforementioned pinnacle benefit of marriage, namely a representation of God's commitment to us, which can be celebrated as a supporter or a participant. Another one would be to take a love from a fickle union with the chance of being undone by a current, very possible fleeting, feeling to a dependable covenant love is scary but exhilarating.

With all these false ideas putting weddings on a pedestal and/or diluting the sanctity of marriage, I felt it would be useful to hear from a man of God currently in the throes of the exciting and hectic engagement stage. This was originally going to be a sentence or two post about reading the Meaning of Marriage for premarital counseling and looking up wedding ring prices... blah blah... marriage. As you can tell it turned out to be something completely different, and I truly believe that there is a reason that I wrote this.

P.S. To those who do not share my faith, you might have noticed there was not much about marriage that would be universal, and that is because I believe God set up marriage, redeems marriage and is revealed in marriage.

Transitory by Design

Below is a blog post I wrote for the Greensboro Fellows program (aside from some made up words not making it to the official copy). Check out some of the other things we have been up to this year http://www.greensborofellows.com/#!following-the-fellows/c43a
This past week The Greensboro Fellows, as well as our honorary members Elspeth Glasgow and Chris and Jessie Meriwether, traveled to Baltimore Maryland. I have been looking forward to this trip since before I joined the program because we were going to see Ravi Zacharias.  Ravi (we are first-name close, check the picture), is a Christian speaker I have queued up on my podcast app to give myself an intellectual mind blown't experience.  However, my big take away from the trip was not anything Ravi said, but the opportunities seized in transit.

             Our taste of nomadic lifestyle had me resonating with a biblical verse in a new way. 1 Peter 2:11a: "Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners..."  By design we are not meant to be stagnant in any sense of the word.  I think it is easy in the hustle and bustle of routine to hinder God's "little" blessings, or at least not notice them.  This adventure to Maryland was not weighed down with such monotony. We made memories with former strangers, had opportunities to pray for previously unknown siblings in the kingdom and had doors open by opening doors with no expectation of repayment.  All these beautiful interactions happened in literal transition as we were making our way to another location. If we would have been consumed about reaching our destination with efficiency as the highest priority, I would say this trip would have been one big missed opportunity after the next.  In such an isolated incident as a road trip, it could be enticing to believe this type of intentionality is not intended to be a daily practice.  In fact, I believe it would be advantageous to our faith if we, as a body of believers, made it habitual to be more concerned with people than our agendas.

I’ll end with just one story of how this willingness to communicate rather than being blinded with the need to do what’s next, played out in Baltimore, John Hopkins’ campus to be more precise.  Before I do, I want to acknowledge I was pretty vague in my description of blessings we encountered, but it was purposeful.  I do not want to box in what this perspective change will bring you or, even worse, the belief you are entitled to a like experience when you encounter a masterpiece of God's you have not met before. With that said it's good to share small ways you have been encouraged.

We were rushing to the building where Ravi was speaking, and a woman asked if we were heading that way and if she could follow us.  Waving her and her two campaigns on, we continued on as a group.  Fighting the urge to rush to the front of the group to get to the building a split second sooner than the others, I started talking to the most recent members of our entourage.  It turns out that they work for Ravi and two of them were going to be on stage with him to address the Q&A portion of the talk.  Ruth, the woman who first inquired about our destination, handed Andrew and me a business card, telling us to contact her and she will try to send us a book or something.  To be clear this is not a “treat everyone nice because there is a chance they are a connection to someone famous” plea, the other like stories on the trip involved average Joes in the world’s eyes, but we got a glimpse into the masterpiece God has for them through our interaction.  This is “let’s be a people that truly believe we have the same Father and big brother in Christ, and treat them like so, valuing them over our to-do list.”     

Ravi

             

What has Taken Place Spiritually this Summer

This is my response to a debrief question that was somewhere along the lines of "What has Taken Place Spiritually this Summer" asked by the great folks at world harvest missions. 

I guess to answer that question honestly I would first have to confess my pre-formulated  Christian-sounding response. Along side this response there is a confession of pride and a desire to be viewed as holy and knowledgable of The Lord in a profound way. My pre-formulated response would go something like this: "Hebrews 12:28 talks about the unshakable kingdom we receive in Christ, and verse 27 talks about how God shakes all creation so only the unshakable remains. These verses really resonated with me over this summer because these truths are clearly amplified in a cross-cultural setting.  This is only one of the reasons I strongly encourage  that everyone should go on a cross-cultural mission experience."  Before I move I want to validate that I believe my pre-formulated response is not only biblical but the reality of those words did play out some this summer for me.  The reason I confess that answer rather than profess it is that it is good sounding head knowledge, that God was faithful in fulfilling despite me. That response does not leave room for God uniquely working in me, a specific loved child of God. It does not point to the fact that He loves to pursue me passionately creatively and with newness. So although I definitely had some American values shaken leaving the solid underlying foundation built on The cornerstone of Christ, He more so taught/retaught me of His diversity in "speaking"  caring and loving for His people. 

One obvious way He "spoke" to me was through the sonship course, lesson after lesson on our undeserving adoption into His family. However, these lessons also made a clear distinction that undeserving does not mean begrudgingly. God not only redeems, meaning turns our mess-up into a situation where good can come out of it, but He also does not make His love contingent on our actions.  

I have also been aware of His diversity in speaking by witnessing and partnering with different Christians making a real impact in their community, some in ways completely different than the way I would.  The third main way this spiritual awakening has happened is that my go-to ministry tactics were neutralized by me going out of America. These go-to tactics include things like purchasing food for a loved but in need child of God with my credit card. This allows me to meet a physical need while looking for an opportunity to go into spiritual matters. I think this is a good practice and plan to continue getting to know the less fortunate around me, but it is also a situation I have prepared and prayed for, again both good things. It simply took me out of my comfort zone, which I thought was much larger than it actually is, to come across situations with no precedent and realize God still wants to move through me in situations I am clueless on what to do.

To end this post I just want to say another serious thank you for all my supporters partners and pray warriors who helped me get to Ireland, and to preserve with faithfulness for the whole time. If anyone would like to talk to me about my time in overseas missions this summer please message me I would love to share more of how Jesus moved this summer. 

Dia duit

The title of this post means “God be with you.” That is a common greeting in Irish. Before I go on, note: I only have my phone and limited wifi access, therefore expect this to be a short, maybe choppy, post. Right now I am in the middle of a sonship course in Greystones. Greystones is a beautiful place and the sonship course is a deep look at our blessed adoption into His kingdom. I've been meeting a lot of cool people and learning some really sweet, in the traditional since, things. We cannot earn God’s love, it is not given to us through clinched teeth but freely and with pleasure. Know, truly know, two things: you are hopelessly wicked and God is miraculously good. Good in such a way that your hopelessness is redeemed despite yourself. From working out of those two truths you have the pleasure to accept God's invitation to pursue disciplines to spend intentional time with your savior like praying, scripture reading and study time as well as fasts and the like. If you express these disciplines outside these two truths, it leads to hopelessness that you are not allowing God to heal. So that is a little of what I am learning. We are also working along side Irish interns, which has been a cool cross-cultural experience. In this setting it is easier to see how I let my culture define my faith rather than my God. There is a load more going on but texting is hard and it will take more time than I have now to explain it well. Thank you all that helped me get here and be praying for me, the other interns, and the people we will interact with.

What Impact did I Make?

So last year I would have been nearly immobilized to hear I had to raise over five grand to serve the Lord.  Thinking, I can't ask people to support me financially so I can be extremely blessed to do His work, that is too good to be true situation.  However, I have learned that it is also a blessing for others to partner with me. If my friend asked me if they can buy me a drink and I say no (which I have done before), I am denying them the reward of blessing someone else.  That is what Ministry Partnership is, in a much grander scale.  Instead of a refreshment, I am allowing people to refresh my, and in many cases their own, soul(s) by putting hands and feet to God's and His people’s prayers.  This is an honorable and trustworthy system predating Paul's first letter.  Now, I've come to believe this truth is theologically sound and I've grown in my understanding to trust that it is biblical. Unfortunately, as I apply this truth to my life, lies creep in.  As I continue to raise money I am disheartened by the apathy my friends seem to have for my trip.  Not all of them, but as the saying goes: it takes ten good deeds to block out one bad one.  So whether it is a perceived majority or actual majority, this nonchalant response my brothers and sisters in Christ have for something God has deeply woven in my heart frustrates me.  Some of it is in a godly discontent, but some of it is prideful and selfish way.  The worst part of it is I am having trouble distinguishing the two.

I started this post, but didn't want to seem bitter and post it in my frustration, so I sat on it. Since then I actively started wrestling with this dilemma, which has given much light to the situation.  Yes, it is still hard when I have poured into people's lives with the joy of Christ intentionally for two, three, sometimes even more years, and when this opportunity to help me go on a mission trip arises, it is as if I am a stranger.  Funny thing about "strangers" in relations to Christianity is that we are called to love strangers for they are our sibling in Christ. I have been blessed to see this lived out; hundreds of the dollars I've raised have come from generous hearts of people I have never met before they donated, and in many cases will never see this side of heaven again.  This is yet another reason I am glad I did not rush to update my blog.  This love I was shown, that was given not because who I am but because who I serve, was humbling.  The support I am getting is not an evaluation of my worth, but a revelation of others’ love for Him.

That simple sentence may just seem like the last sentence to the second paragraph on a blog of a guy you may or may not know, but to me it was comfort, love and God's hand on my shoulder.  I was getting a little bitter towards people that I have cared for, given up sleep time for, bought dinner for, cooked for, invited into my home and shown hospitality towards, all because they didn't care to support me as I was doing something God was calling me to.  The love of those whom I have never even given a drink of water to convicted me in the best way, forcing me to ask, "Did I care for them to get something in return, or because of God's love in my life (see Luke 6:34).  It was from exploring that question that I realized I was wrapping my worth into my support raising.  I was letting others define me, people would turn a blind eye to my needs for this mission.  In return I would wonder if I even had an impact on their life, if I have ever shown God with my actions.  In some ways I was thinking I was being turned a blind eye because I was not worthy to be looked at.  That was such a selfish viewpoint, thinking I was the center of the universe, not caring for them past this petty hurt.  Some people I found out didn't turn a blind eye, but waited for bank things to be settled, (granted prayer or encouraging words in the meantime would have been beautiful). Others have been hurt in a way they feel that Ireland isn't where they can support from a loving heart, which is sad, but understandable. In situation of brokenness, that is everywhere, I should pray and care for them, not just want them to get over it and give me money.  Still others love money more than me or supporting missions, which is not right but it is not a sin against me.  They have not had their eyes open to the wonders of partnering with God, trusting Him more than wealth.  Their are plenty of other reasons, but one more I want to mention is some people give beyond their means already, they have a heart for certain things out of God's inspiration and although they may be joyed to hear of my trip, they have not been called to support me.  Which is right and good because I know sometimes you have to say no even to good things, or you will be burnt out doing Christian things, rather than living a Christian life.  I am so glad God has been teaching me these lessons because I plan to go into ministry and the challenge and difficulties of raising $5,000 was discouraging me from going into ministries, thinking I did not have a large enough support base.  In an earthly mindset this makes sense; if I can't even get enough for two months mission trip, how can I make a sustainable living?  With God that is not a sound concern, He sent his disciples out with no money and they came back with great stories because God provides what we need (see Luke 10).

To wrap up here is a finical update: I am right around $2,000 short for my mission and the support is due in 9 days.  If you feel like you can give glory to God with a contribution, no matter how small, it would be much appreciated (http://www.whm.org/give/missionary?ID=22066  ).  I truly trust that this is not a large number for God, even though it feels like an enormous gap in such a small time for me; if God wants me in Ireland, like I believe He does, I will get the funding.  However, I also believe that God partners with broken people like you and me to do great things we couldn't do on our own.  Therefore, I must be diligent in my pursuit of funding and forming partners to pray with and talk to. Feel free to email me at Mr.Palcsak@gmail.com with any questions, comments, concerns, or encouragements. This email is primarily dedicated for communication for partners in the faith and missions, so please do not hesitant to send me an email.     

 http://www.whm.org/give/missionary?ID=22066  

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 [EL1]Not a word, but it works

Moving to a Different Beat

If worship in the musical expression were a lady, our relationship would be complicated, sprouting from a rough first couple dates.

First a little back story, I got saved when I was 18 years of age (see older blog posts for more details),  and I was completely invested in my youth group, I mean it was the least I could do, it was in part because of the youth group existence that I recognized my true need to meet Jesus as my personal savior.  I do not mean where I heard the name Jesus but understood the reality, that me wearing the cross necklace and saying, "I'm a christian" wasn't the beautiful invitation Christ had in store for me.  It was because of this commitment to this youth group and my belief in the message being proclaimed there that I never really had to be pulled aside to be talked to.

So when the musical worship ended and Mr. Rowe, the youth pastor, asked if he could talk to me for a moment, it was not a normal practice.  He called me over just because I was making hand gestures for each word for "Mighty to Save" and trying to get some friends to use them. Granted I was doing it more for my attention than for His glory.  As Mr. Rowe was talking to me I remember wanting to dismiss his rebuke, classify it as a "agree to disagree" situation.  I thought we just had different views on musical worship, he liked it and I just wanted to get to the Bible study.  However, I am glad I did not harden my heart to his words, explaining the importance of showing God we love Him in a plethora of ways, including musical worship. 

That conversation was a learning moment, that has played out in my own life multiple times.  I was faced with advice given to me in a situation where I did not do anything inherently wrong, aside from trying to spice up a seemingly less important part of youth group.  It would have been easy for me to nod my head say "you're right" and just mouth the words of the worship songs to play the "good Christian role."  Instead of that lackluster passive approach, I entered into a time of investigation of the importance of musical worship. I would like to say that I came out the other side of the investigation simply captivated by all worship songs, but that would be a lie.

To this day I struggle to get fully immersed in praising the heavenly Father with song.  I question the biblical accuracy of the lyrics, and I wonder if I am singing for others in the room, or the Lord solely.  Truth  be told if church would be done my way, we would most likely sing one maybe two worship songs max.  This would be the musical stance at the Church of Kevin, despite the fact that God has moved me deeply, from time to time, via musical worship, and my knowledge that it is pleasing to the Lords' spirit to lift our voices up to Him in praise and adoration "Oh come, let us sing to the LORD; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!" -Psalm 95:1- The reason for the disconnect is because church is meant to be about Christ not ourselves.

Reflecting on how God has worked in my musical life has made me ask two main questions to filter my thought process through.  One: how do I handle rebuke? Do I handle it like a fool, ignoring it, or like a wise man, learning from it? "Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you," -Proverbs 9:8- Two: is my faith for my self-indulgence or for His edification?  It is true that true faith is living a life we were designed for, therefore we will be most satisfied as we are glorifying God.  On the other hand it is false to assume we have faith to make life easier.

Anyways, this whole post was inspired because, as you most likely know, I am going to Ireland and I started looking for Irish Christian bands. I am sure that the musical atmosphere will be as different as I have been discovering that the culture is. I am excited to embark in a completely different worship experience, musical and otherwise.  I am also pleased to  inform you that I have found an awesome Irish Christian band called Rend Collective Experience, and posted one of my favorite songs below. Speaking of Ireland, I am still pretty short financially (less than half funded) so if you can support me in that way it would be much appreciated.  Simply go to www.whm.org/give/give-to-a-missionary, then click on my name, Kevin Palcsak. Thank you in advance for the ways that you are partnering with me in God's mission in Ireland.

Procrastination and Productivity don't Mix

Ok, I plan for this to be one of my shortest post ever, but we will see how that goes. I meant to be posting more often in order to get in a habit of keeping my supports updated on what one of their favorite missionaries has been up to.  However this has been a crazy last couples of weeks, and I am just getting use to the increase pace.  I am graduating in May so it is crunch time here at ECU.  But as the title might have suggested I have not been too busy to keep up with things such as my blog, but to lazy to make the effort.  Now in the last couple of weeks I have done some really cool things, like reached out of the Christian bubble to make some cool friends and gave a talk on "The Gospel in the Old Testament" at Intervarsity the Christian organization I am a part of, which was amazing probably one of my favorite talks to give, great one end with.  On the other hand after a day of doing this that and another, some things really important others not so much so,I have also thought of all the things I still wanted to get done and just watched TV until I was so tired it made sense to just go to bed.  Currently it is 9 till 2 and I just finished some homework and felt the urge to post a update blog.  I am trying to have my post be less polished and more raw, but still have a coherent flow for others reading, it is a work in progress.  Anyways that is a short little summary of how procrastination and productivity don't mix , the same concept applies for Kingdom productivity, only even more so.  I hope*will try to get another blog posted soon more geared towards my excitement and preparation for going to Ireland!

As always if you would like to find out more about my trip to Ireland go to World Harvest Missions webiste or my previous blog "Go and Make disciples in Ireland" and/or/than contribute financially at http://www.whm.org/give/missionary?ID=22066 (half of the money was due on the 11th and I am not quite there yet).  I realize my past three or so blogs have been about my shortcomings I promise I have positive attributes, I am just prideful so it is more helpful for me to write out areas of improvements than tell you how I've been allowing God to prepare me for missions.  

*I am trying not to use the word hope as often because it is a powerful word that implies reliance, if you truly hope for something and it does not come through you will be devastated.  I truly put my hope in Jesus knowing He will save me.  I do not hope to see you tomorrow, though it would be nice if I did.